Sunday, 16 December 2018

10 Ways To Stay Motivated For Any Goal


In this day and age there is so much pressure on us, especially speaking as a young person who just left university. Sometimes you have the ideology that you must go to university, get a degree and find a graduate job. However, as you grow up you realise that there are other options in life, including settling down starting a family younger or travelling around the world and relocating. However, it is always nice to have a passion and drive for something. I realise getting the desire/passion is easy, it is motivating yourself to keep pursuing the dream is quite daunting and tiring.

100% not saying it is the worst thing in the world that it is tiring, however with Mental Health becoming less taboo – having a lack of motivation and putting pressure on yourself can have an effect on your mental state. We sometimes work so hard that we forget to look after ourselves and take time out to enjoy what is around us. So if you are stuck with life choices, need a change or wonder why you are working for something that seems unreachable … think again, read my list of tips and re-motivate yourself. 




1 – CRY LET IT ALL OUT



I am sometimes the biggest hypocrite when it comes to this subject and tip, because I put the biggest pressure on myself to be the best I can be. Recently, I went for a job interview and I got this job in Barcelona. I was super happy because all I wanted to do was move back, however after a few months I wasn’t getting any responses from the company. I shrugged it off because in Barcelona it is all “manana, manana” and very relaxed when it comes to deadlines… I decided to keep on applying for jobs (just in case it didn’t work out), however I never considered it. Everyday I was applying for jobs, working on my blog and practising all my languages just to prepare myself to move back. I remember this one day, about a month ago. I was in Southampton with family, I shared a bed with my mum and she said to me “I think it is time to forget about that Barcelona job”. I just cried, because I finally realised this dream was never going to happen and would never get a reply from the company. I just was upset because I thought I was moving back and was going to be finally happy in Spain, and also I worked hard and applied for over 80 jobs and got none. I felt like a failure to my family and myself.

What I didn’t take into consideration is that I have job interviews in the next two weeks, in the end I got my dream job … can’t wait to share more about it. My mum noticed how I was working myself too hard and burning the candles at both ends, I was either applying for jobs or applying for jobs and was hating it. Crying or having a rant about how you are feeling about your passion/journey in life is a good way of letting the emotion out. It is a known fact that if you ignore any feelings, the tension stays in your body and your body feels it. By letting out all the emotion, you can get other people’s views on the topic and clear your mind of the fogginess and start again. There is no shame in crying or being disappointed, by admitting there is a problem or a need for change is the way to change the course of your passion.


2 – TAKE A BREAK

It could be a day, weekend or month, do what you need to do.  I have found that by taking a break from doing everything every day,  my blog is way more successful and I am enjoying it. I spend less time on my phone, I am less tired and more aware of what I want. By focusing on applying for that job or promotion etc… you lose focus on why you are doing it in the first place and you can’t enjoy the reward. So Molly which ways to stay motivated whilst having a break? So glad you asked. Like I said, even a day break can make you feel more relaxed so here are some ideas.

Day Breaks: Phone your mum and dad. Mine are my best mates and even if it is going for breakfast with both of them or by themselves or going shopping because that always helps. A Spa break is always nice…release the tension with a head massage. Most importantly for that day you can live without the one thing that drives you crazy … put the laptop, phone and notebook away. If you family are busy, call your friends and just hang out for the day. Do anything that relaxes you. Have a cocktail or two, or three. Weekend Breaks: If you have holidays you can book off, discover a new city. Grab a nice hotel, find amazing restaurants and book an activity to take your mind off stresses of life and amaze yourself. Bungee jump or do something you would never do. Week Breaks: If you have time to take a weeks holiday … DO IT. There is something about going away where you have so much energy. Is it all the water you drink because it is hot or the sun? Who knows, but going on holiday is always a good idea. Anything Else: Just treat yourself to a break. May give you some new ideas. 


3 – DRAW FROM A BLANK STATE

You know when you were younger and you were asked what you wanted to be? Were you one of those that had absolutely no clue? Me too! Even in University, where I had my first tutor session in my Events Management degree. Everyone knew which type of event they wanted to manage, except me. I wasn’t worried though because I knew I still had some learning to do. I always say that I don’t want to settle for anything just because it is the easy or most comfortable option. If you have done something or job for ages and staying because it is easy and it doesn’t excite you… why aren’t you considering something else? Not just with jobs, but choosing post-college options etc.. There is always good to have back up options just in case.

If you want a change in life, a new hobby or excitement. Start with a blank piece of paper because nothing can restrict you and just start writing ideas. A blank piece of paper doesn’t tie you to those ideas, they are just ideas but it doesn’t harm you from writing those ideas down. I did this, but on Excel. I wrote down all the destinations I would like to live, looked at my skills and found different jobs I could do. Soon I had more opportunities that I wanted to look into. It is also less complex than trying to change what is de-motivating you in the first place. 


4 – TRY A DIFFERENT METHOD

Remembering back to school, you had three types of learners. Can’t remember the names but sometimes you learned better reading, listening or doing an activity. I was always the reading type of learner. However, maybe your mind/body is so used to doing a certain type of learning method that it gets too comfortable and isn’t effective. When I studied Spanish, 100% reading was the best way that I studied and hated listening exams and practice exams. I am better now I have become better in Spanish. However, Italian is a different scenario. I have been studying Italian for nearly two years now and when I went back to Rome in September, I could understand everything people were saying … something that never came easy to me for other languages. I realised that changing ways to study/learn new skills maybe better for me to succeed.

Sometimes the best way to stay motivated is by doing things differently, may be quite refreshing in the end. What ways when there are so many different goals?? Here are some tips….

1 – put less pressure on yourself

2 – google other people’s ways of dealing with motivation with a similar goal

3 – work related: ask boss or colleagues for their tips

4 – education related: speak to different tutors for different ideas

5 – finding a job: don’t do it everyday and watch job related videos

6 – hobbies: sign up to new clubs, online communities and sign up with friends


5 – SEE HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME

I’m not just saying this to sound modest, but unless it is a massive achievement like my graduation I hate accepting compliments or celebrating small achievements. I get embarrassed .. don’t know why. My family think it is amazing how far I have come with my languages, where I have spoken it for a while I don’t notice it but thinking back I am proud to be able to achieve speaking 4 languages. At the point that I let go of the thought of the Barcelona job, my mum told me not to be ashamed because I have been working since the age of 15 in full times jobs, moved abroad by myself and continued with my degree even when I was in a low point and wanted to quit. People always say never dwell on the past and think towards the future but should we really?

Of course we should but not fully. If you are working for your promotion, new skill or finding a change look back and see how far you have come. The steps to do this are few points ahead but wanted to mention this first. If you are facing a hurdle towards a goal and thinking is it worth it just look back (realised how cheesy this is becoming) and see all the successes you have had and re-focus on going for that goal.


6 – EXPECTATIONS

Expectations. Weird one for me. I never had expectations until I decided that I worked hard enough to deserve some good things out of life. Before that, I lost a few friends and someone said to me “you expect too much from your friends”. I didn’t understand it because what I expected from friends wasn’t high, it was what friends should normally do … until I realised they weren’t friends in the first place. It was a bad time, then I moved to Spain, was resilient and worked bloody hard and still do because I love to work. However, because I know my goal I have the expectation that something good will come of it because I deserve it. Anyone who works hard deserves all the success in the world I believe. I don’t know what these expectations will bring, I don’t want to have a specific expectation just a generalised idea. All I know is that as long as I work hard, good things will happen.

My advice is, as long as you work hard then dream away and have good expectations. They are something that you work towards and I believe as long as you think that good things will happen then you will want to work for them right? Always remember to make them realistic. This sounds very negative after what I just said and it isn’t meant to be. However, make sure you write down these expectations that suit your goal so that you can easily work towards them, these are great ways to stay motivated. 


7 – FINALISE MAIN DREAM


This is such an obvious tip, and you are probably thinking what is she on about I have already done this? I am only saying this because I think if you acknowledge something over and over again it is hard to forget right? Right now, I feel like one of those X Factor contestants that say “This is what I have been working for my whole entire life”. Whether you are going for a promotion, saving for travelling or just want to challenge yourself to running 10k – have that main goal. It makes it easier for you to know what you want and it will give yourself something to work towards and other people will take interest in what you are working towards. This is a small point because the next one is an extension onto this…. 


8 – BREAKDOWN OF GOALS

Your main goal isn’t going to happen over night is it? You can’t get a promotion by just asking, can’t save for travelling by somehow getting x amount overnight and can’t learn a language in one day. Remember my previous point about seeing how far you came? This is where you set your mini goals. The checkpoints you passed when getting to the main goal, then you can remind yourself that you are getting to your main goal and can celebrate … with a cocktail or two! So how do you breakdown the goals?

Promotion: I am not sure how each company works but maybe there are targets to hit before you get that promotion? If not, make your own and share with your boss to make sure you have written the correct ones down. Once they are confirmed, make sure you celebrate once you do each one. Saving: I definitely will be doing a post on this as I am currently saving for more travels and done ways of cutting down my expenses. However, maybe set up a savings account and each month transfer a certain amount of money. If you found the perfect holiday/accommodation work towards saving for that total price. For birthdays ask for money to go towards your travels or items that will be useful. There are plenty of ways to stay motivated, however I love lists and mini goals to celebrate working towards a dream. Do you?


9 – REMEMBER YOUR SOCIAL LIFE

Remember YOU HAVE ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE TOO. Let’s not be silly, when you work hard you are obviously going to be knackered. Especially when it is something you are super passionate about it. However, you need time to hang out with friends like I said before take a break and relax yourself a bit. For example, me and my friend just said to each other “cocktails?” can tell we are so in sync and have known each other for 12 years! We both work full time jobs and now we are finally in the same county we can finally meet up together.

It is a well known phrase but everyone needs a good work/life balance. So why would you stop now, and to be honest I really want to follow my own advice because I am stubborn because I just want to keep working. I also want to keep working because I have something important to learn in the next few weeks and keeping busy makes time go past VERY quickly. However, I know by working a lot and being away from friends, I have missed seeing them and is always good to nurture your social life. 


10 – LOOK AFTER YOURSELF

A BIG OBVIOUS PHRASE WELL DONE MOLLY. Okay I swear that this is my last cheesy phrase in this post, honestly. In a few weeks I have an exciting announcement that will make up for all these soppy motivational posts. After all the tips, remember this one.

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I have always wanted to help people and change people’s lives by sharing my experiences. So whilst I am not travelling you will see more lifestyle posts in these next few months, including of course many restaurant related posts…. I have an amazing waffle place to share and found out a way to get 10% off! Loving life! I hope you had a fab Christmas, I sure did and am loving these few days off work although I can’t wait to get back to it. What did you do and did you get anything nice? I will be getting a new computer soon, yay! This one is falling apart at the seams, literally holding the screen together as I open and close it.



I have recently moved back to Southampton for a new life update, if you want to have a catch up feel free to check it out! Very much looking forward to the new year, I have so much to look forward to and can’t wait to reveal all!

Mol xo




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